Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Your tits are I can't wait for
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
