anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
