he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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