Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
