You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
