We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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