You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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