Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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