I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
