know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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