The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
