i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
