we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved