Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.

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(315): View more from New York

It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete

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(860): View more from Connecticut

it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once

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These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Read it at the TFLN blog
(419): View more from Ohio

I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?

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(505): View more from New Mexico

There is a pube in my fucking eyeball

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(773): View more from Illinois

SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.

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