I'm lost and stupid without you.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
