If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
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