there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
