Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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