I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
sex in a hospital.. check
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
