Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
