Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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