A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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