she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
