I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize