I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
