3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Drake has all the answers
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize