Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
