Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize