just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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