Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
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