basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
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Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
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The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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