I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
