where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
