The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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