"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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