I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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