I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
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Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
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Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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