Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize