and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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