Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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