Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
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i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
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I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
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