yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
