There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
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