Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
We named our party play list daddy issues
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
