there's paper in my vomit.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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