Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
