In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
