There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
