Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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