i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
