They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
