so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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