what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
It's like God shit irony all over that family
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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