I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Houston, we have a blender
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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