We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
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