he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
she told me i tasted like america
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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