i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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