if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
