When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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