Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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