and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
