Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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