If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
