I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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