I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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