The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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