Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
