Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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