there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize