Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
