ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
