five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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