i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
