Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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