I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
